Sunday, October 31, 2010

Adventures of an RSA General at Carnegie Hall 10/23/10

I waited months and months, staring at the tickets on the wall...Kiss & Deep Purple jokes, blah, blah, blah. Suddenly, the day was coming, and I stiffened up with anxiety and confusion. So if you met a person by the name of Malinky at Carnegie Hall on Saturday night, you spent time with someone I hired for the evening...

Or so I wished.

Upon exiting the subway, climbing steps and entering Columbus Circle, I could inhale the invigorating feeling of New York City's essence mixed thickly with Robot Skeleton that's what that is. I recognized it from the book signing but now it has a name.

I asked my friend Dave along, who is not an official Robot Skeleton but a fan of the show for many years...he passed the Malinky sniff test. As we started to head towards the iconic Carnegie Hall, I didn't notice I was walking so fast until I saw poor Dave in the distance. As we got closer, I swore I heard glimpses of conversation in passing..."Craig" *giggling* "In your pants" *giggling* "And then Malinky wrote.." *shock* Wot?!

"I swore I just heard my name Dave, lets walk faster..."

Honestly, the streets reminded me of Christmas time without the chilly temps, dirty snow and music being drilled into the skull...hustle and bustle, with such a very lovely softness of pleasantry and fun. Needless to say, I was quite excited, like a giddy fan indeed, and my mind wasn't letting the moment flee.

Apparently, 6:20 is too early for seating a 7:00 show at Carnegie Hall and waiting around the lobby was against my anxious needs, so Dave & I popped into a bar a block away for a quick drink, across the street from Carnegie Deli. After a quick drink and a minor heart attack over the check, we finally got to file into the bloody kingdom, holding the king hostage... Yes, I respect the historic aspect of CH but something about the place just rubs me the wrong way, perhaps it's the red coats the security people wear; Too much irony for my taste.

Started spotting skellies left and was kinda awesome, a family reunion from the book signing at Barnes & Noble (*cough* not Borders...) with the added deliciousness of meeting new family members. Little did I know this was only the start of The Great Huggage... Lets not forget to wear the cap of reality, and remember there are a few family members you don't wish to see...who gives a crap, its a Craigy convention.

It was lovely to see Michael Naidus in proper was as if La-La-Land came to New York City for the night. It was fun to flirt with James Lipton...I got minimal response, but a response none the less. The lights dimmed...we all promptly planted ourselves in anticipation.

Randy Kagan was introduced and really did an excellent job of getting the night started. It was my first live experience seeing Randy but I've read a lot of tour reviews thus far. I found Randy comfortable and warm, with amble rawness oozing out...he was fucking funny. For future audience members of Randy's set: young girls-don't bother trying to get in his pants, geriatrics-wear yer tightest girdle, dudes- don't wear sweaters, seriously. After reading the reviews for months and then seeing the show, it seems Randy gained some chops on this tour and he wears it well. Randy's set was way too short.

It was lovely to see Mister Ferguson come out, imprints of his soul now firmly established on the very stage that many greats stood before him. I had mixed emotions as a proud fan...finally, he was NYC's for the night but also, its another unexpected accomplishment to add to his life. I wanted to laugh, I wanted to cry, I wanted maniacally scream and run around the auditorium tearing my clothes off, but I didn't...thank goodness.
"It's a Great Day for America Everybody!"
The crowd seemed to roar with a passionate response that gave me I the only freak that felt this? I didn't care because before I knew it, Craig was comfy and into his set and I was ready for the ride. It was rather refreshing to see His Chattiness cussing in a suit without a pixelated blob attached to his face. It was fun to see the show producer laughing at Craig in person. It was absolutely beautiful to look around at all the luscious faces with shit eating grins & perma-smiles, all focused on one thing, Craig holding his cock. Despite over a week of touring, he put on an energetic and funny show, and his fans responded with dancing crocodilios & howls of laughter. It felt so good to see this all happening for him, the second funniest person I know; okay, maybe third funniest person I know.

I didn't think it was possible but after the show, the escalation of excitement only grew with limited minor interuptions of bobbing and weaving hangers on & leeches. I quickly met some of the loveliest people, including the man himself. Yes, our Commander in Chief and his general briefly crossed paths, you know to exchange battle plans, go over information obtained by spies and distribute appropriate exchanges of respect and admiration.

I met so many nice people at the show and after, while waiting for Craig to come out the side stage door...I can't tell you how long we all stood around and waited but it didn't matter to me. I couldn't feel the cold but only the warmth of people around me laughing at the same things I laugh at. Finally, they gave in and we all headed a block away to sit down for some drinks and yum-yums. There was so much talking and laughing, I couldn't possibly think of eating and wasn't able to finish my drink.

This was a first time experience for me. On this night I got it. It was possible for some of Craig's fans to be fans of mine too...the love they showed is indescribable. It kept coming like ocean waves...with bear hugs. I don't usually swim in such waters. The kind words, the sweet smiles, the sneaky Mister Nancy grilling Dave like a cheeseburger to find out my name... *sigh* all quite unforgettably fun & special.

To me, looking back, it was possibly a once in a lifetime chance... I started this as a hobby because I am an insomniac and Craig's show got me through some tough times. I was just trying to share him with others who may be unhappy and in need of a giggle...I think I did that and then some in the interim. Somehow, it has become more than just a hobby. Some may think I'm crazy but it has become a part of my life now, like eating, showering & sex. It's all worth it because I enjoy it. I'm mighty thankful I didn't let my fears get the best and hire some other douche to be me for the night...only 3 of you, perhaps reading this, were there that night, know for sure.

With Baby Ferguson almost done baking, who knows when Craig will do stand up in New York City again...hope it's sooner than a year, so we can all get together again.

Yours in cheekiness,
Malinky I. Stoatir
RSA General

Thank you Craig for being you, doing yer thang & sharing that thang with us.
Thank you Dave for being my wing man for the night.
Thank you Randy Kagan for your photo was lovely to meet you.


  1. I love how you describe BabyFerg as "baking", like its a sweet little cupcake about to come out. Which of course it is.

    This is so sweet Mal, I'm glad you had a blast and that your nerves didn't get the best of you too much :P I just wish I could have been there, it all sounds beyond amazing.

  2. Thank you, Mal. I could list all the things that make you awesome: posting videos of His Chattiness (with witty comments that always make us lol),blogging guests lists,tweeting,working you ass off in order to re-share all the old files that were lost last May,having a great taste in music, sharing all your Craig related experiences the way only a friend could do....but that's not enough.I'll probably never meet you (let's face it ,i'm kind of in the wrong continent)and i won't be able to tell you properly how grateful i am..wait,we all are.But you can bet your General ass i'll always be there,posting louzy comments , in attempt to show you my gratitude. And so,yeah, Thanks Mal.

  3. "I was just trying to share him with others who may be unhappy and in need of a giggle"

    That like resonates with me so much. When I first 'discovered' Craig I was in the deepest episode of depression I have ever experienced. For about 3 months I looked at 18-wheelers longingly, just hoping they would run me over. Craig made me laugh and smile, something that I otherwise never did. He became my nightly therapy. His book gave me inspiration and hope. Actually, I think I got as much, if not more, spiritually and emotionally from his novel. I watched his movies for extra doses or laughter.

    After a couple of months I began to crawl out of my abyss of depression and truly find joy in life again. I began seeing humor in things and giggling at what I knew Craig would say about them.

    Thank you so much for doing what you do and providing me with my daily dose of therapy for those times that I missed it at night. And for those times that I just wanted to watch the OMFG Ending over and over again for that rush of endorphins to my head. :)

    I salute you, Gen. Malinky

  4. Wow! Awesome! Thanks for sharing this. It does seem that many people "discovered" Craig during a hard time in their lives & he had a major role in gettin them through it. And that is also the case for me. I didn't used to watch tv that late, so I had never seen Craig. But shortly after receiving my breast cancer diagnosis is when I found him. It was early on in my treatment, & I was wondering if I'd ever feel happy again...would I ever smile again...would I ever laugh again. Of course I would, but during those early days, I was in such a dark place. And so I was flippin through the TV, unable to sleep, so sad about having to go through treatment, my long hair falling out....all of it. And then I saw him. I wish I could remember the episode, but he was doing something with the puppets & I laughed my *ss off. It was the 1st time I had laughed/smiled since my diagnosis several weeks prior. And from that night on, I made sure to watch, because if I watch, I'm guaranteed to smile & laugh at least once a day. And laughin is good for the immune system. =) And if I can't watch, I dvr & check your site for the upload. I hope to see him live someday...maybe as part of my "end of treatment celebration"...might need to pop out to LA.

    Anyway, thanks for your hard work & dedication to sharing Craig with the world.


  5. I'm so glad you were there! *more hugs* My apologies for the inquisitive Mister Nancy, though we do have his lovely pics documenting the evening. I couldn't imagine the Carnegie Hall experience without you. We are a wonderful family of friends. And Craig is responsible for all of this. If I hadn't been pushed so quickly (by Mr.N)into that delicious hug, I would have told him so.I hope he knows. Thank you for everything you do; it was an honor to meet our much beloved General.

  6. I wish I could have been there. You've told it so beautifully. I'm glad you got to feel how much we love you as well as share in your admiration of Craig. Know it isn't just in NY that you'll find it.
    Thanks Mal!

  7. That was beautifully said, beautifully written. I understand in more ways that you can can. You are one of a kind and wonderful, I don't need to meet you to know that. But, I'd love to one day. Thank you for all your hard work. I am a greatfull admirer of Craig's.....and you. Good people always deserve their rewards. I hope you get and have gotten yours. You cheeky little monkey.

  8. @NancyinTampa so your husband was the one that got the answer out of Mal, eh. Doesn't surprise me. @Mal I was bummed I missed you as I said in my Carnegie trip blog [ ] because I wanted to tell you in person how great a job you have done for the RSA. Sounds like you ducked into the pub before the show and my reluctance to move to the front of the line on 56th St after the show was my undoing after the show. Just know this, your contributions are greatly admired by this RSA member down in Central PA.

  9. Malinky, you wrote about your experience so beautifully. Please write more; I seldom come across bloggers who express themselves as well as you. This my first visit. I assure you I'll be back. I went to Craig's show in Cincinnati and cheered loudly when he announced, "It's a great day for America!" Indeed, every day is, as long as America's got Craig.

  10. Hey Malinky, it was nice meeting you. I'm sorry I was too shy and didn't talk that much. But after 6 month of waiting the day was suddenly there and I was overwhelmed, it was kinda too much.

    Thanks for your uploads and dedication. Craigy makes me laugh a lot. He often cheered me up in the last years. Thanks for making that possible.

    I hope to see you again someday.


  11. I was fortunate enough to see Craig here in D.C. and the crowd went just as ape crazy when he said, "It's a great day for America." The show went by so fast and my husband asked me on the metro ride home as to what my favorite part was. I couldn't tell him because I was in such awe over getting to see him live and uncensored.
    I found Craig about year and a half ago while battling depression and the side effects of antidepressents. I couldn't sleep and clicked it on because it was just starting. I don't remember what the episode was but that was the first time I laughed in ages. He became nightly viewing and then I found you on youtube and watched older episodes and laughed so much. now when I watch TV or am on the computer my husband just assumes that I'm watching Craig.
    I thank you for your hard work and dedication by putting Craig online for all of us.

  12. Greetings from Scotland

    Many thanks for your time & dedication. Obviously we don't get CBS here, but by your efforts, I and countless many like me, are able to enjoy the "LLS" on YouTube

    All the best

  13. I <3 Craig!!!! and Randy Kagan!!!!! (his opener on their theater tour)